If the people around me could hear my thoughts 'what a bitch' would sound out loud and clear.
I go to Starbucks, the grocery store wherever, I look at what women and men are wearing and how they are wearing it. Maybe it's leftover from my pants fitting journey, but I look at what people are wearing and I make judgments. Silently of course unless I am with someone and then I'll comment out loud. Guys, you look really tacky in muscle shirts. Both women and men, dirty flip flops are not attractive at all. I don't like flip flops really at all but dirty, falling apart? Get a pair of shoes! Ill fitting clothing abounds and mom jeans, well there are a lot of those out there. Women, these are not flattering! Too short, too tapered and wear them with sneakers? Bad. Ill fitting t shirts are another biggy that I see. Especially on older women and they often have awful designs printed on the front. Men seem to like the advertisement t shirt. It doesn't fit them well either. It's also ugly. When I see a well dressed man or woman, well what a treat. At Starbucks on Saturday I saw a man wearing a nice long sleeved knit shirt and great fitting pants. Nice shoes too. One in a sea of badly dressed men. I did see a couple of women who looked good. Clothing fit, shoes or boots were clean and polished and not worn down at the heel. Nice haircut and light makeup. They looked good without a lot of effort. It doesn't really take all that much time to look good. You don't have to spend a lot of money either.
It used to be that if you were a feminist you weren't supposed to care about clothing or how you looked, but to me it says that you lack self esteem. It is particularly prevalent in older women. Hey, just because we are past menopause doesn't mean we can't look good and feel good about ourselves. I really think that these things go hand in hand. You have gained some weight? Baggy clothing doesn't hide it. You are still worth it. You can still look and feel good about yourself. I turned 60 this year and you know what? I like myself a lot better than I did at 20. I enjoy dressing well, putting on makeup and having a great haircut. It's not what I wore at 20, thank goodness, but I look good for the woman I am now.
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OMG, I thought I was imagining things. People really DO think those awful things about me. LOL
ReplyDeleteI can't agree more! I am your age, so perhaps it's our generation, but I don't think so. I live in a large east coast city (not NY, sigh) and am always frustrated when I am looking for sewing inspiration on the street. I can't believe what passes for work appropriate clothing. I've been reading your blog and pattern reviews for a while now and I'm very impressed. Thank you for sharing with the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteYes, unfortunately, I do. The more you sew and understand fit, the more obvious and glaring the fit issues you see around you. While sometimes it is really bad and I have an immediate negative reaction now and again, mostly I feel a bit sad that many of these people with just a little bit of education could look a lot better than they do. I totally agree about flip-flops and baggy clothing. Let's not even discuss slippers and pajama pants in public.
ReplyDeleteSummerset, I forgot about pajama pants. Maybe I've blocked it out. Plaid pajamas are particularly unfortunate don't you think?
ReplyDeleteYesterday we flew from Baltimore to Raleigh, and not only did I observe clothes, but all the painful looking faces of the ladies who think they look better with all the plastic stuff done to their faces. They look like Zombies with fat lips. Hope I don't offend anyone who has had work but I earned every wrinkle in my face and will keep them thank you very much
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She has the ability to hear what other people are thinking. At first it is interesting, funny and sometimes sad.
ReplyDeleteAfter a while it drives her insane.
That was a good episode :)
I always notice what other people are wearing, even at the gym. My DH has picked up this habit. We try to limit ourselves to "That's quite an outfit" when we notice a pedestrian and we are driving by. Now that the car windows are generally closed, we can relax a little about being overheard.
ReplyDeleteI only notice the most outrageous clothing choices. I'm firmly in the "live and let live" school of thought. There are things I wouldn't wear out in public and I see lots of women wearing exactly what I would never wear. But hey, they're grown! I always tell myself, "Everyone doesn't do things the way I do". I remember seeing Dolly Parton on TV during her huge hair and tight clothes days. She said she looked in the mirror and thought she looked beautiful! chacun à son goût
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I am probably wearing mom jeans as I type! lol :)
ReplyDeleteI am trying to find a practical replacement, but it's not easy. I am just starting the pants sewing journey, the holy grail is to get out of mom-jeans!
Nancy - I'm 63 and make it a point to always wear something that fits and makes me feel good when I go out. Luckily I still work in an office so the "effort" is every day. I truely believe women as well as men need to take more time and care dressing than they did when they were younger. I also think the fact that I've sewn since I was 9 makes me more conscious of clothing fitting properly - my grandmaw taught me well!
ReplyDeleteI do. I find it entertaining. I have notice people getting a bit more spruced up in my area, but that could be because I get twitchy hanging out with the jeans and t-shirt crowd. My friends sometimes joke about my inability to dress casually ( don't wear jeans. Don't have any. Yet). But they are beginning to understand what my concept of casual is and how it may differ from theirs. They've started to pay attention to how they dress as well-putting nice blouse with those jeans and cute shoes instead of trainers. They are also beginning to realize, that it is actually cheaper to dress nicely.
ReplyDeleteI agree - older women (I qualify) look the worst in baggy tee shirts & ill-fitting jeans! I just want to go up to them and tell them to really look in the mirror.
ReplyDeleteYes and it can be quite an adventure. I don't think I've seen so many women or men recently who couldn't use a little help dressing nicely - not expensive, just neat and clean would help, and running a comb through the hair. I agree with you on the flip flops. If you wear them, then take care of your feet and I don't mean just painting your toenails. There are foot creams to help with those cracked heels. When I do see someone dressed nicely, I'm almost shocked! ;-) I know there are well dressed women here, I see them on the social page of the local newspaper. I guess I just don't shop where they do.
ReplyDeleteI always notice. My office is near the garment district. So, when I walk around at lunch time there is a whole range of outfits to be seen (good and bad and mediocre, too). It always catches my eye when someone is well dressed, especially if they are uniquely dressed as well. Occasionally, I will see someone wearing something in a fabric I own or saw at Mood/MetroTextile/etc and I always ask if they sewed it.
ReplyDeleteI do notice and it's a shame people often dress so badly. To me the most horrible are the first summer days. A lot of people showing too much skin in too tight clothes. Both men and women. Grrr.
ReplyDeleteAnd it is fun to dress up! And it really does make you feel better. And yes, I notice, but luckily mainly only the good dressers. I seem to zone in on them rather than the bad ones.
ReplyDeleteI try really, really hard not to notice. Or I notice and try not to place a value judgement on exposed bra straps, bare (YES BARE!) feet in public, kids with tangled hair and stained clothes. It's everywhere here, though I have noticed less of it.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I get flak for over-dressing. Like when I wear wide-leg linen pants and a cotton button down shirt. I used to try for jeans and t-shirts but I don't like wearing or sewing them, so I will happily pursue my whiffs of K. Hepburn look for casual situations....
I love to notice, it's my favorite part of people watching. I agree whole-heartedly. It's one thing to wear something that I consider ugly it's another for it not to fit at all. I don't get how people look in the mirror and think 'why not?'
ReplyDeleteAlso, Mom at 60 your style TOTALLY ROCKS. You are so lucky we aren't the same size or I would steal most of your clothing and smuggle it with me to Korea. :-D
@A little Sewing-OMG I REMEMBER THAT EPISODE! It was awesome!
All.the.time! But then hey I'm in NYC most of my waking hours and I can see just about ANYTHING on the streets of NYC! My personal favorite is short shorts with UGG boots and a teeny little tank top...on a transvestite!
ReplyDeleteI so agree with you, Nancy, particularly the menopause comment. I have worked with women like this and have actually had them say, " since menopause, I just don't bother." AAAcckkk. Don't you care about yourself?
ReplyDeleteI find I look a lot at pants fit in everyone. I see so many low crotches, way too tight mommy jeans, way too revealing muffin tops oozing out. Who on earth thinks this stuff looks good? This has nothing to with poverty or expense. It is what I call "personal laziness".
I live very close to the Canadian border and we have easy access into Canada. I can pick out the Americans instantly when we go over the border. They look like freakin slobs. I bet it is the same in Europe. We could learn a lot from our Canadian neighbors, they are coiffed, made up, jewelried, and dressed neatly, even those without much ability to shop. They just simpley put effort into their appearance. We have become a nation of slobs.
Like you, Nancy, I rejoice when I see a beautifully dressed person and will always compliment them.
Amen to your entire post. It takes a little more effort, but you can find things at Target, second-hand stores, etc. And this applies no matter what your size.
ReplyDeleteI am always amazed at "make-over" shows, such as What Not to Wear, where the person receiving the makeover resists, claiming they love their styleless, tacky, ill-fitting clothes, but are slowly transformed into confident women once they learn what silhouettes work for them. Suddenly, there is a spring in their step and a smile on their face, all by feeling wonderful about their appearance.
I began learning to sew because, as I grew older, I became frustrated at my inability to find clothing that truly fit properly-at any price point. I am very short with an hourglass shape and everything was always too long everywhere, too tight across the bust that was located in the wrong place, and skirts and pants got hung up on my thighs. And when I had my first truly successful garment, I was amazed at the difference!
Looking good is half the battle!
I am with you 100% on this one. I am constantly amazed at what some people leave the house wearing. Often I have wondered if perhaps they don't own a mirror! And it is not vanity that makes me want to look my best but respect for myself. My mother and I often travelled together and over the years I cannot count how many times we were moved from coach to first class so there are rewards for a little effort.
ReplyDeleteYes, I sure do. I notice how poorly women in Sydney dress for the office. I notice the 'uniforms' people wear for various occasions. I notice shoddy construction, unmatched patterns, poor fit. I notice really stylish women and make mental notes about how to emulate them.
ReplyDeleteMercifully, I mostly notice when people are well dressed..
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I found a brilliant short-cut last year, that takes me into the metro without crossing the busy street. I was intent on observing this great purple coat, and wishing I could catch up to see the front. She disappeared into what I had always assumed to be an underground parking entrance. But as I was going along the railing, I caught a flash of purple in the library courtyard! I -knew- it was the same woman. So now I get a little flash of pleasant and safe greenery every day while the cars woosh above. I've never seen the coat again so I still don't know about the front, but I often feel grateful :-).
I do to a point. But then I feel guilty! :) Maybe they've never been taught, maybe they don't have the funds to buy new things, etc. In the end, they're not hurting me (My eyes! My eyes! haha) and there are other things to fret about. But on the whole, I do think "Dressing" has gone to the dogs, at least in the US. And I think alot of people feel the same way as you, because whenever I wear a dress or skirt on the weekends to go to, say, Barnes & Noble just to browse...I always get a ton of hello's, smiles, nods, doors opened, etc. People really DO treat you differently if you care about your presentation.
ReplyDeleteYes, I notice, dammit.
ReplyDeleteI always notice, it's the sewist in me!
ReplyDeleteI think things starting with 'if only' - meaning 'If only you had worn heels, or if only you had remembered a belt, then maybe you'd look more put-together.
I also do the reverse, I stare when I like something! Like Marie-Christine, I see stylish women and think - ok, what about this do I really like? Is it the colour, the cut, the overall vibe? And how can I work that into a sewing project?
It's funny, the more I see people in pajama pants at the grocery store (yes! yikes!) the more I want to put on a cute skirt and lipstick :) style is important, not because it's superficial, but more because of what it says about you, as well as how it makes you feel! I feel great in a skirt, I feel sloppy in jeans and sneakers.
Oops, that was rambly! Interesting post though, I bet a lot of us feel the same way!
I had to leave my comment above in mid-thought. I still don't know exactly what I want to say other than it does matter.
ReplyDeleteI always notice what people wear b/c I think it's just the sewist in me. I'm always analyzing cloths, how a person styled it, fit, construction, everything. But it's not in a judgemental way, unless it's really, really bad, lol. For me, I notice in a more observational and curious way.
ReplyDeleteI can't really pass judgement on someone, b/c I'm not a big "dresser" myself. I have a 5 yr old child and I live a casual lifestyle. In fact, I rarely even wear make-up. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me, it's not a self-esteem issue at all. I can dress when I need to, but in all honesty, it's not really important to me. Is that bad, lol?
Whenever I shop, I get way more attention (you know like clerks waiting on you - wanting to know if they can help you find something) when I'm dressed neatly and groomed well - grooming - now that's a subject...but it's not even the nicest clothes I have - just if they fit well, that's all that matters. As opposed to if I'm in my comfies and dart over to Home Depot - it's like I'm invisible! Maybe it's irritating, but I like to use it to my advantage - there are times when I want attention and times when I don't - no I'm not doing anything subversive - unless it's spying on Madison Ave or Barney's, but dressing how you want to be treated, always works.
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing! I am always afraid that I am going to get caught looking at someone's butt while I am thinking "I'll bet she paid 200.00 for those pants, and the fit is terrible!"
ReplyDeleteI had to crack up when I read this! Well, at least you have the guts to say it out loud - at least in blogland
ReplyDeleteTake a moment to imagine how it feels to be the person on the receiving end of those looks and comments. Perhaps those are the only shoes that person has. Some people only have the money to cover themselves, not outfit themselves. As if life is not hard enough when times are tough without being judged by others.
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