It's been a long time since I first started sewing. I relied on patterns for teaching me to sew at first. I had some advice from my grandmother, but she had stopped sewing long ago and she didn't really teach me to sew. I do remember her showing me how to lay out a pattern and she gave me her Singer to use, but other than that? I pretty much learned how to sew on my own. My mother didn't sew and no one I knew sewed. I don't remember why I wanted to learn to sew but I did while neither of my sisters sew.
My first and only sewing mentor was my neighbor at the first house we owned after I got married. She sewed everything including suits for her 3 sons. She showed me how to do a lot and gave me a copy of the Vogue Sewing book, my first sewing book which is not only still on my shelf but I still use it occasionally. I taught myself how to hand tailor a jacket with that book. Nothing was too difficult; I'd try anything, especially if it was a Vogue designer pattern. When my son was about 3 I heard about a store up in St James that not only carried fabulous fabrics, but the owner gave French Couture sewing lessons. Maybe not so couture, but it was the first time I had real instruction from a really accomplished seamstress. I learned a lot. Over the years I've built a library of sewing books that I can look to to figure out how to do almost anything. I love books and long before the internet I learned how to find out how to sew just about anything I wanted, Which brings me to the point of this post. I willingly give a lot of my time and knowledge to people on PR, whether it is my fitting opinions or how to sew something. Lately I've gotten a bit less willing to share. No I will not come and do an fba for you in your home. I don't have anyone to help me pin either, though I will confess that my dh will mark a hem for me. I am willing to give of my time, stop being so negative! It's not magic, just work and perseverance. You have to put the time in to get the benefits just like any other skill. A lot of hours and repetition go into learning how to sew. There is no easy way.
Ok, end of rant. Have a lovely Thanksgiving everyone. We will be blessed to share Jakob's first Thanksgiving. I am counting the hours.
Posts
Unfortunately, it does seem that sharing and helping can result in burnout. I don't think people are trying to be difficult on purpose, but perhaps they don't realize that it takes time and effort to compose a good response. It can be frustrating when the person asking seems to want to be spoon fed an answer vs. trying to find the solution themselves. I don't mean to be grouchy, but I agree with you. It's not wrong to ask for help, but people also need to develop self-reliance too.
ReplyDeleteI've become a little fed up with people on the internet who ask for help, then can't even take the time to acknowledge it when you give it. As a result of quite a few experiences like that, I've found myself hitting delete for many questions that arrive on mailing lists I belong to, instead of spending time to find and send links, write explanations, make suggestions, etc.
ReplyDeleteI started sewing 30 years ago using Burda magazine patterns, with a book on dressmaking techniques open beside me so I could understand what the pattern was telling me to do. For example, when the pattern instructions said, "Insert zip", I read the book on how to do that. So I don't have much sympathy for people complaining about Burda's instructions, for example.
I guess we can be thankful that annoying people on the internet don't live right next door, so they aren't about the walk into our homes in person and demand help. It's easy to ignore them if we choose!
Happy sewing.
I'm very greatful to the people who have shared knowledge with me, particualrly on Stitchers Guild, I have learned so much from them.
ReplyDeleteGlad to know that I'm not the only one with gripes - not exactly the same as yours, but...
ReplyDeleteNancy, you are more than generous with all your sharing of knowledge on PR. Every time I click I see you on a thread giving fabulous information to sometimes unthankful individuals but usually they are appreciative. I know this must really bum you out. Just think of all the people who clicked on one of your responses and never responded but quickly used the info you shared to better their skills. Know that you have helped many. Everything comes around and thankless people are usually in the front of that line. In the meantime, thanks for all the advice you have given me, and know that it is very appreciated. Sure wish I lived in your end of NY and not up here near the border!
ReplyDeleteI think what "gets" me is that most times they are asking a question that has already been asked and answered. Instead of taking the time to research the answer on the board, they start a new folder and begin a discussion. Then they have to be pointed back to the 2 or 3 other folders that have the same information in them. Most of the sewing boards have been in existence for quite some time and are chock full of useful information...they just need to take the time to look and then ask for clarification on things they don't understand!
ReplyDeleteOh and enjoy Jakob's first Thanksgiving, grandma!
I keep a stash of links to give to people but I agree. Lots of people expect the internet to do the hours for them. The beauty of the internet is the ability to pick and choose. Answer the questions that interest you or you remember being impossible to figure out (remember the on going pants saga?!)
ReplyDeleteI'm so jealous of your Thanksgiving it's not even funny.
I truthfully don't know where I'd be if I couldn't solicit information over the internet when I find myself in sewing puzzlement. I am really grateful for people like yourself with vast sewing knowledge who have taken the time to share sewing info with me.
ReplyDeleteWell you know my opinion on this subject! Honestly, PR has turned into a great resource for newbies and intermediate sewers but the pervasive sense of entitlement and childish behavior is a real turn-off. I left middle school a long time ago, I don't need to re-live it on a sewing forum.
ReplyDeleteI find myself offering sewing theory instead of specific fixes in response to questions on the boards these days...when I even reply. I don't think the question askers want or like hearing theory though.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your holiday with the cute one!
I think sewing comes naturally to some and not to others. It doesn't come naturally to me. My mind has a hard time working in 3 dimensions, what goes where, right side/wrong side etc. This post was a little scary to me, to be honest! I don't want anyone to be fed up with me, but I am really struggling to learn and don't seem to be able to just look at a book and understand it, though I keep trying. I truly appreciate PR as a resource. Sometimes I don't realize a question has been asked before. If I duplicate a question it is an accident, sorry!
ReplyDeleteI am a struggling beginner, too, but I am careful not to bother others. I am 44 years old and just started sewing in August. I am a self-starter, and I know how to research to get information--and thank God there's loads of it to be had without pestering people.
ReplyDeleteNancy, I referred to you as one of my "sewing heroes" in a recent rare post where I asked for information on a waistband on P.R. I don't know if you saw the post or not, but your opinions are prized by me and many others.
There are always going to be inconsiderate, lazy people in any large group. Generally, for every one of them, there are many others who are truly grateful for help. I hope you veterans will focus on the latter and not the former. If I were a less mature sort, I might start to feel unwelcome and self conscious.
On most large discussion forums, repeated posts are not tolerated. I belong to a car forum as well, and it is heavily moderated. Warnings against repeated posts are prominently displayed. If PR is losing experienced members because of repeated pleas for help on topics that have been covered thoroughly, it's something that those who run the website may wish to reconsider. This issue is easily solved, and not solving it hurts the quality of the board.
Jennifer
It was the posters negativity that set me off. She came back with all the reasons why she couldn't do something. As Phyllis said, it was very childish. I think that what beginners don't realize is the amount of time it takes to learn a new skill and sewing has a high learning curve. If you have difficulty visualizing how to sew something than I suggest you either take some classes or subscribe to Sandra Betzina's webcast sewing school. I loved her old sewing show and I really learned a lot from them. Her videos are good too.
ReplyDeleteYes, I have been a teacher at the community college level for the past decade, and you aren't kidding. Some people have every excuse in the world and want you to practically come on over and do the work for them. It is immensely irritating. I struggle daily not to focus on these folks--they are largely the minority, but boy they sure do whine loudly. I try to ignore them and focus on the ones who want to learn and are willing to work for it, but some days are better than others.
ReplyDeleteAs a beginner, I understand intellectually that I've only been sewing for four months, but there's a part of me that feels like I am not progressing as quickly as I should. (Based on what I do not know--the curse of perfectionism is my guess.) Sewing really does have a high learning curve, and I need to remind myself of that constantly to avoid frustration.
Videos have been an absolute godsend. Thanks for the tip on Sandra Betzina--she has a great deal right now on her video classes. I can't wait to see them.
Jennifer
You know what I lament is the lack of craftsmen/craftswomen in our world today - and so do a lot of designers. Good work requires time, expertise, experience and skill - none of which comes from an overnight infusion of knowledge. A good friend designs in Hollywood, and oooo's and aaaah's at my ability to go from inside the client's head to garment on the body. Hopefully it will improve as the number of craftsmen/craftswomen decreases, and the desire, drive to enter the field will increase. And I don't mean that this isn't attainable, it just takes time, as you well know, sometimes in small steps. But each step can be a victory.
ReplyDeleteIm sorry you've been dissapointed by the reaction of newbies. I think that most of us are eternally grateful that people like you exist and have shared so much information. Sewing is a hard thing to start- the pattern directions are somtimes wrong, and when you are starting, you can't tell! Some sewing books are better for beginners than others. Some methods are easier than others. Having someone explain something basic can be all it takes to go from something that seems impossible to something that becomes second nature. (I had this experience with learning how to trace patterns, for example, from Gertie's post on muslin making.) So, for myself, and on behalf of other folks, too, thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand your frustration with people new to sewing. I too was one of them two years ago. I think some people expect sewing to be easier than it is. They don't expect fitting to be a journey. Also, I think younger people nowadays expect a lot of hand holding and compliments. I hope we get out of this phase soon. ;)
ReplyDelete